Goat

One of my favorite things that happened in Lithuania actually happened in the airport as we were leaving. I went into the women's bathroom, took care of bidness, and went out to wash my hands. There I was confronted with a confusing yet hilarious soap dispenser. It had kind of a black rubbery wanker hanging down, and I tried quite a few methods to get the soap out, including pushing it in, moving it from side to side, and even a tug or two. Eventually I realized that you had to kind of milk it. Whereupon I fell down on the bathroom floor clutching my sides and convulsing with laughter. Of course I couldn't keep this to myself, so I went out and told a friend to go wash her hands. She also came out staggering and unable to stand from laughter. Of course everyone wanted to know what the deal was, and the guys couldn't go in, and their bathroom had a non-dicklike soap dispenser. So my friend and I, we took one for the team and went in with a videocamera.

It was hard to decide who would give the handjob and who would tape, and then after that it was hard to get started because we were fucking laughing our asses off. My abs almost ruptured from just looking at the tiny soap-dick. Even now, right now, just picturing it is causing me to have to stifle myself because I'm in the union and laughing out loud alone is not cool. Finally we decided that I would wank it and she would tape it. I only got a couple of wanks in and then I could no longer stand up. We passed around the video to the team.

For your viewing pleasure, I present:

Wanking the Soap Dick

Be sure to turn your head sideways. It's all cockeyed. And use sound, for sure.