S.O.S.

Two days ago I had a small, tiny dilemma. I had to drop Offspring I off at the gym and come home and snowblow the damn driveway. The problem was that then Offspring II would be in the house all alone while I was outside, and he's a bit of an opportunist in addition to just being young. My concern was that he would need me and come running out to get me, whereupon I would snowblow him into so many tiny bits since I could not hear his approach. I have the same fear with the lawnmower, but it's more graphic and juicier in general.

So I went over The Plan with him. If he needed me, he was to get the heel of the bread from the counter (left out with the intention of feeding the birds--I'm a giver), open the back door, and toss it out into the driveway. I would see the bread on my next pass with the snowblower, and then come inside and help him.  

As it turned out, I could not start the goddamn snowblower. I yanked its stupid yanker like 20 times and the accursed machine would not even act like it was going to start. I may or may not have kicked it. So I was just shoveling away, when Offspring II decided to enact The Plan. I heard the back door open, caught a glimpse of a frenzied throw, and heard a slam as he scurried inside. Perfectly executed all around, notwithstanding the fact that I was standing right there and really did not need thrown bread to catch my attention. I went inside to find out the reason for implementing The Plan. As it turned out, the pressing need (ha!) was for cider. Could he pour some cider please Mom? And the cuteness overwhelmed me, and I smote him with kisses on his upturned face.