The Nose Knows

It's been said that I can be immature. Well, it's been said by me. Because, readers of the blog, I have been known to do and say some pretty juvenile things, all in the interest of cracking myself up. Which is important, really. I'm all about enjoying life.

The other night I was hanging out with my two awesome boys, one of whom has a cast on his foot that goes up to his knee. He was doing some radical moves in his aunt's rec room and he fell with his foot under him. We got him off to Children's and sure enough, broken it was. I was totally bummed, not just because the dude was hurt, but because he's had a cast before and it was a royal heavy pain in the ass. 

So there we were, hanging out, the two boys and me, their mom. It had been 3 weeks with the cast on, which, in case you did not know, means three weeks with no bath. Of course we wipe down the crucial areas but one can only do so much without total submersion. It gives you new insight into how much it must have sucked to be a medieval castle-dweller, not so into actual bathing, and also trapped in many layers of clothes. They all must just have reeked and frankly, I'm surprised any of them ever got laid.

I had caught a whiff earlier in the day of some cast-foot. It smelled not just like ass, but like ass that had been left to die inside a heated cave of wrath and despair. I'm actually concerned that the cast might melt soon. So I told my older, non-casted son that he could choose what we would have for dinner if he would get right in there and smell the foot of the younger, more putrid child. He felt like that was a pretty good deal.

Well, he went for it. He totally stuck his face in that mummified ass-foot and really sniffed. There is no way to describe how quickly he recoiled in horror, nor the look on his face. There is also no way to describe how hard I laughed, how awesome it was to witness that, and how much it still cracks me up each time I relive it. He seriously looked like he was not only going to puke, but would look forward to puking just to have a new smell in his nose. And that if some of the puke landed inside the cast it would be an improvement.

Fortunately, he realizes that bad smells are fairly hilarious and after he gagged, threw up a little in his mouth, and then regained control of himself, he pretty much fell apart laughing. Which is good, because otherwise what I did was mean. The little guy, Smelly Ass-Foot we call him, was inordinately proud of his stench, and was glad to be getting some mileage out of it. All in all, it was a good time for us. Family, you know? It's everything.

And the dino nuggets were pretty good.