Hold on, everyone

One exam down, four to go. Well, really six if you count the National Registry in a couple weeks. Which I don't because I'm all about the now. I'm studying (no really, this is just a refreshing, blog-entry kind of break) cell biology as we speak, which I wish I had more time to delve into. Really grab that cell by the horns, as it were. Because if there's something I like to study, it's tiny invisible shit.

Well, now I have to talk about the tapeworm. I got all fired up just thinking about cell biology, and that's not even my true passion when it comes to pathogen-focused education. I didn't mean to get all worked up, but who wouldn't get excited about the electron transport chain? I mean, have you seen how neatly it all flows, culminating in the uptake of that one single electron into a high-affinity oxygen molecule? Good stuff, people.

So the lowly tapeworm. Why is it so compelling, you ask? How is it not compelling, I answer you? What else could enter you stealthily (your choice, beef, pork, or fish), unfold from its tight quarters when your stomach acids dissolve its cocoon, cycle itself through childhood, puberty, and early adulthood, take up residence in your intestines as a sexually mature adult, and then just hang out there, all without you knowing? I mean, true, you would start losing weight as the tapeworm absorbed the nutrients you ate (why do we not use this, Wisconsin?), and you might start being alarmed as sections of the tapeworm are jettisoned out your ass in the hopes that one of them can find a home in someone else, but in general, the tapeworm is a benign intruder.

And may I wax lyrical for a moment? The fish tapeworm, which is not my favorite of the tapeworms (can't decide between beef and pork, leaning toward beef) has the most beautiful name--diphyllobothrium latum. That's positively musical, internet. It almost brings tears to my eyes. And it's not the only one like that either! Parasites, which are sincerely the most disgusting and fucked up disease causing agents known to humankind (bless their hearts or triradial lumen-having areas) have a collective poetry of names.

For your enjoyment:

enterobium vermicularum: the pinworm (itchy asshole)

clonorchis sinensis: the Chinese liver fluke (it is known for its horniness. It lays around in your liver and has sex all day, making little baby liver flukes. Parasite porn!) 

dracunculus medinensis: the Guinea worm (just wind it around your pencil! And then wait a day, and wind some more!)

trypanosoma brucei rhodisiense: African sleeping sickness (wake up, fucker!) 

yersinia pestis: the agent of plague (carried by fleas, not bad humours as once believed)

entamoeba histolytica: diarrhea on a grander scale than normal

Okay, I'll stop now. But that was the most fun I've had in a while. It was like visiting old friends, except they're friends that don't expect you to talk and do gross things like make your nuts swell up to 20 kgs so you have to haul them around in a wheelbarrow.

Back to the grindstone!