Guy Who Clearly Thinks He's a Vampire: Dude, you totally cracked me up today. Your long hair, your obvious commitment to maintaining a low-melanin look, your badass glare, and your long protects-you-from-the-sun coat: all of these combined to form one incredibly awesome vampire persona. And when you tripped and dropped your backpack, that persona became hilarious and less awesome. I could see that you had worked long and hard to cultivate your Creature of the Night thing, and awkward moments like tripping definitely fuck with that. It's a good thing that your friends didn't see it.
Lab TA from Molecular Department: Dude, you are one tense guy. I understand the research dork thing. I really do. Actually I support it completely and am jealous that you get to spend all your time looking into gliding motility and mutant flagella rotary motion. But, and this is a big one so heed it, you must not allow your awesome research to make it so hard for you to shout out a little "hi" every now and then. Your discomfort is alarming, it is so strong. So let's just work a little more on the friendliness thing, a little less on the dynein action thing. Which, again, is very cool and I envy you.
Guy With The Whistling: Seriously? Are you serious? Because if you are I just do not know what to do. Is it necessary to execute that weird-ass ritual before every set of weights lifted? Does it somehow focus your chi? It focuses my cracking up, that's what it does. Because you whoosh like three times, and then you whistle about 5 hoots. And then you glare at the weight (it is an inanimate object, guy, and will not respond to your laser eyes. Just FYI.) And then you lift so dramatically that I am sure you could probably win a health club drama award. Like an Oscar, but sweatier. I'd actually like to thank you for two things: one, cracking me up; and two, causing my workout to end early because I could not actually remain in range of seeing/hearing you work out without almost collapsing with laughter. So thanks, ripped whistley guy.
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