So yesterday we went to the extremely awesome pet store (Hoffer's for you locals) to get a new rat. Deadpool has been lonely since Twoface, and then subsequently Twoface II, died. This pet store kicks ass. It's a combo education, rescue, birthday party, ponds, and pet store. All the people that work there are extremely knowledgeable and mostly look like carnies, I'm not sure why. I'm also not judging carnies.
Anyway, we looked at a lot of rats. One type of rat is the hairless rat. It basically looks like a chicken nugget after you pull the fried part off. It is a disgusting looking animal, and to add insult to injury all the males, and maybe some of the females too, have giant balls. I mean seriously giant. They are dragging those fuckers around. Like if there were a sidewalk, and the bald rat were walking 2 miles on it, the balls would be worn away from the dragging. Or maybe they would swell and then the rat would die from having all of its life force sucked into its already enormous balls.
Of course my kids were fascinated by the balls, and much giggling ensued. Not by me, I'm too mature for laughing at rat balls. I definitely made no jokes about the Rat Sac, and for sure didn't say anything about the Balls That Ate Manhattan. That would be bad parenting and I don't condone it.
The rat we got yesterday is missing. I will be checking the dog's poop for evidence.
2 comments:
If you can have this much fun *not* making fun of rat balls, I can't wait to see how meeting your son's first girlfriend goes down. Or better yet your son's first ex-girlfriend.
Prepare thyself, mature one.
I know. I sometimes wonder when I will grown up. Like today, someone in my lab brought trail mix. Which led to a discussion of nuts. One guy earnestly said that he likes all kinds of nuts. I snickered and mocked him.
Then a chick rejected the honey roasted peanuts because she doesn't like to eat sweet nuts. I mean, what else can you do but snicker?
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