Out of My Way

Guy who really, really wanted to look awesome riding his skateboard to class: It looked to me like you thought long and hard about how when the weather was awesome like Monday, you would totally ride your skateboard to class. This might have been one of those times where your fantasy (you looking like a really jammin skateboard dude) did not match what you envisioned. Because instead of looking cool, you were struggling with your balance and very slowly and deliberately executing nonstylish turns. The backpack obviously threw off your already precarious sense of balance. Thanks, though, for cracking me up. It was worth the pain of watching you suck at skateboarding.

Paula Abdul: Too much boobs lately. They are going to fall out of your dress.

Gym at which I spend almost all of my spare time with my sons: The feet smell was originally funny, because everyone walks in and makes a face like, "What the hell is that smell?" Now it's getting a little out of control, smelling more like a corpse foot than a live one. Not as entertaining, more just gross. 

Awkward people who just want to see the puppy: Hey, it's cool. The puppy is cute and draws attention for sure. It's kind of weird, though, when we run out of the what kind of dog is that conversation and then you just stand there for a while, not sure what to say. Exit stage right, please.