Why do I have this puppy, internets? Some of you who know me in real life have heard my (many and frequent) rants about the fact that pets have anuses, which means that they leave invisible but offensive anus prints all over the house. Like fingerprints at a crime scene, but with anus juice. And maybe you've heard me mention that not only do dogs shed hair all over, but that they also lick their balls/anuses and then come and try to kiss you with that same tongue. There is no human equivalent to that. It would be like if someone tried to bake you some muffins in their undies and then served the undie-muffins to you with a cup of tea brewed from their socks, which they had worn while stepping in their own feces.
So again--why the puppy?
1. Because he is the cutest puppy ever in the whole world. No puppy is, was, or ever will be cuter.
2. Because my older son said, "Mom, this is my lifelong dream. And you made it happen."
3. Because the puppy needed a home! He had no one at all in the world to give him bacon.
4. Because he is cute.
His name is Mango, and he's a 2 month old Aussie Shepherd mix. What the mix part is, I do not know, but I suspect maybe a Cute Hound. He has the brightest blue eyes ever, like Paul Newman but we will not use him to sell salad dressings. And he is fat and round and when he tries to chase things he falls over from his smallness.
This morning I took him for a walk about halfway down the block. That's all he can handle before he gets pooped out. Then he chased some leaves and showed them who's boss. When we got home he fiercely attacked a stuffed animal and probably killed it. He used all his predator skills on that one. He is very ferocious and intimidating! He can definitely kill things that are tiny, cooperative, and will succumb quickly to his attacks before he falls over and sleeps.
I wuv him.
3 comments:
Congratulations on your puppy! I am SHOCKED you got over the anus on carpet thing. That's been your hang up for years, and I've adopted a similar policy. Sounds like you are poised to win mother-of-the-year with the boys. Send/post a picture of the little pup.
I'm not really over the anus thing. I'm stuffing it deep, deep down. But also, the cuteness overwhelms it all. Like you know how even Cole's poop is cute? Or at least not very gross because it's his? That's where I'm going with it.
WOW!! The puppy plunge is one we will take when our diaper days are over and I can handle something else's poop! Can't wait to see him. Have fun gushing over his cuteness.
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