Girl from the car crash: As an EMT, I should not judge you. As a human with ears, I cannot help it. You were shaken up, no doubt, because your car was totaled and that's certainly very upsetting. So upsetting, in fact, that it caused you to whine at a pitch and intensity that has never been equaled, no, not even by a three-year-old possessed by Satan. If your car has just been crashed and totaled and you are at risk for collapsing, do not worry so much about things being dirty, like the ground upon which you must now sit so I can see if you have a major head injury. Also do not scream that you are calling your lawyer because someone must pay for this. It does not help me determine if your injuries are life threatening or not, it just makes me wish that they involved your vocal apparatus. What happened to you today is too bad, and a bummer for sure. And I was happy to help, obnoxious or not. But you, girl from car crash, are on my list, the list of people from that car crash that I did not like.
Physics Quiz: On the top of you, in red, is written a zero. Meaning that of the ten points available, I achieved none. Not even half a point. It disheartens me to realize that I could have gotten the same score by not existing. That hurts. I tried on you, physics quiz, I did. But in the interest of full disclosure, I did not do my physics problems that week and physics does not just flow naturally from one's brain, even if it is a good brain that likes things like physics. I hated you, quiz, but unfairly. I apologize for blogging about you as if you are a stupid motherfucking physics quiz.
Lady on the plane: You know who you are, and you know what you did. I gave you not just a stink eye, but a stench eye crafted from my most intense feelings of slight irritation toward you. In addition to what you did, I thought your haircut was unflattering. Think about that.
Raviolis from last night: You tasted awful, like shit in a ravioli shape. Or like raviolis filled with sunburn peelings mixed with moistened ass crack lint. Your benevolent organic message was lost on me, Moonstarbeam Ravioli, because of your failure to deliver a pleasant taste. You should probably stop trying so hard to be "green" and work more on being "tasty".
2 comments:
I'm sorry about your physics quiz! It's not an intuitive subject for many, you're right about that. This is my third pass through the material (2 years of coursework, and this year as the tutor) and I'm only just starting to feel like I get the bigger picture. I wish we could study together, I could use someone like you for Micro. I'm doing okay, but I feel like there is a lot more to know here.
Totally agree. I feel like with more time, I would be getting it, really getting it. It's frustrating as hell. Also the tests are impossible because of time constraints--30 problems on electromagnetics in 50 min.
Micro, on the other hand....ah, truly my world. Lac operon, now that makes sense!
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