BeWhat?

It  has recently come to my attention that there is such a thing as decorated lady parts. Apparently one can use adhesive or something to place little rhinestone bits upon oneself in either a specific pattern, like a butterfly I guess, or more randomly just for sparkle and snap. It's called Vajazzle. Another possible name they should have considered is Bad Idea.


The reason I think it is a bad idea is this. If you have scratchy non smooth things stuck to you they will get caught on other things, and tug upon the parts to which they are anchored. It's the Law of Hangnails. And there is no person on earth for whom I so need to decorate my cooch that I would endure crotch hangnails to do so.

I became curious and wondered if there was an analogous male decorative notion. Indeed there is, the Pejazzle, or the more subtle term, Body Crystals For Men. The logistics of this elude me, as the item to be decorated is not exactly....consistent of medium. Did I put that delicately enough? Or was I unclear? I was trying not to make Southern ladies pass out by saying boner. Because that's what I'm talking about, really. It would be like the cookie sheet dilemma. Do you space according to how they are now or how they will be once in the oven for a bit? It's just that here the cookie sheet is expanding, not the little rhinestones.

Also there's this: Well, two things really: First, I don't know that we want to call attention to the male genitalia in a way that makes them look like a disco ferret. Second, I feel that in a coupling type situation one might find rhinestones not an ideal interface with one's tenderer areas. Again, I was being nice for the ladylike. Otherwise I would have just said I think lady town would go slasher movie with a man of Pejazzle.

I do feel that this concept could get out of control. Scrotazzle, for instance, or Cracktazzle. There's only so much on the human body that you can decorate, and more often than not it's better left alone.