Cirque du What?

Ok, so the day continued in Chicago. My niece's next request was a Brazilian restaurant, the kind where they bring stabbed meat to your table constantly. Those restaurants kick ass, and this one was no exception. Many meats were brought, the salad bar was beautiful and delicious, and all was well. The restaurant was elaborately decorated and quite opulent. For instance, we were seated facing a two-story glass wall, behind which was a giant rack of wines. Cool, I thought. Many wines.

Suddenly, my world changed completely because inside the wine cellar (above ground, maybe not a cellar? Not sure.) a woman dressed in tight red velvet was getting hitched to a series of wires and pulleys. She then was lifted into the air, posing decoratively all the while. While in the air, she would flip and twist and then stop and pose, kind of in a midair ballet/circus. She was an aerial wine dancer.

I seriously laughed as hard as I ever have. I mean, tears streaming from the eyes laughter. And I couldn't stop because every time I would calm down a bit she would flip over and over, ending in a dramatic pose. Again, she was not kidding or doing this ironically. She was expressing herself through wine dancing. It ruled.

So during this day I started thinking about jobs, like Doll Physician and Wine Dancer. In this day and age people use the internet to date, and in describing oneself, those are a little different as occupations go.
I think one might have to modify them, like leave off the Doll part of Physician, or say you're a Health Care Specialist in the field of Plastics, or maybe even Curator of Health for Victims of Circumstance. For the wine dancer you'd have to be more creative, maybe Physical Interpreter of Wine Nuance, or Airborne Purveyor of Wine (with Expressive Movement), or possibly even just Wine Cellar Ballerina: Ascending.

All in all it gave me a new perspective on life, and I've enjoyed thinking about people's online job descriptions ever since. Balloon animal man on the street? Pediatric Sculpture Artist: Medium, Latex. The spray painted statue standing on a milk crate? Stillness Advocate. You see what I'm doing here? Just try it; it's life-changing.