One Simple Thing

That post title is actually the title of a song from the 90s I think.  I was pretty amazing in the 90s so I know cool stuff like that.

One thing I have been sucking at really bad lately is blogging. The main reason for that is school, which I guess most reader(s) of this blog would know. This blog is turning into one big excuse for not blogging. I have decided not to feel guilty about it.

I don't think I've ever posted about my jiu jitsu instructor and his tendency to say horrifying things while teaching. He will drop a total bomb and not even notice. I usually look around to see who is snickering with me: mostly no one. So either people are devoid of human speech comprehension or have no sense of humor at all, or possibly I'm a 15 year old boy incognito. Some examples:

While teaching a head and arm triangle (my head right next to his, my arms wrapped around his neck and arm to choke him): "Nope, not feeling it. Nope, nope....give me more head, more head, more head." At this point I collapse in giggles. He realizes that might have been awkward. Maybe find a different way to ask for greater head pressure next time.

While trying to pass a guy who is crunched down in a disaster-like position, on knees with head and arms crunched into mat (turtle): "So when he moves, I'm just going to beat him off to the side." On this one, someone did ask with incredulity mixed with snorting, "You're going to what?" He realizes that might have been awkward.

While trying to get my partner to perform x-guard on me: "Dude, just stick it in there. You've got to really give it to her." We rupture, trying not to laugh. He walks away, unaware that he pretty much just taught porn instead of jiu jitsu.

What's funny here, aside from everything, is that this is a guy who stumbles over the word crotch, when it is clearly the only word that will convey where one needs to have one's legs, or arms, or whatever. He feels it is not a nice word.